Grasping

(For the right words, at the right time)

Yes, I’m editing. Yes, it is painful. It’s also the summer holidays and I am attempting to snatch moments of time amid the chaos. This is a tough undertaking, especially when you are trying very hard to make things work - new scenes, chopping and changing things around, character developments, new story arcs that enhance what is already there, and prose that fits with the rest of the ‘voice’. It all collides to create one massive headache.

I have an editing process that definitely works for me. I detailed it all here. And I’m following my plan closely, ticking things off, which means PROGRESS! But…

I went to bed last night with that ‘niggle’, that annoying devil on my shoulder saying ‘it’s not working, stupid.’ And I think I need to listen to it. It’s not just the dreaded imposter syndrome. It’s instinct.

Now, something else has happened for me recently, and this might be having an impact. Wild Hunt Books ( a gorgeous indie publisher of dark fiction) are publishing my novella, The Off-Season, as part of their Northern Weird project. I’m very excited and very honoured to have been included alongside some brilliant names. That’s me, bottom middle.

This is my first step into actual, real publication. It’s what I’ve dreamt of, and my name even made it into The Bookseller this week! Dreams literally coming true. But it’s made me think about things. It’s made me think harder about the type of writer I want to be. Writing the novella has been so much fun. I’ve had space to play with form a little bit more, it’s more literary in style than I usually write, and it’s made me want to be more of a part of this particular writing community - the darker fiction, the horror, the weird (because, really, we don’t half look like a cool bunch!).

So, of course, this is impacting my edit. I’m wondering if it’s too ‘soft’, too nice in places, the prose too flowery. I need to give myself permission to go darker, to make things more uncomfortable for my characters, to not say ‘it has folk-horror vibes’ but actually allow it to be full folk-horror.

It’s a balance, I think. My agent is happy with where we are, I don’t want to ruin that by moving too far away. But I’m at the start of this edit, so the opportunity is definitely there. My little devil self made me jot some points down last night, to go back over the opening four chapters that I’ve already edited, and after a few suggestions to myself, I ended it with MAKE IT ALL A BIT DARKER, MORE SINISTER!!

So here I am, giving myself permission to find the right (darker) words and give my characters a hell of a time.

Happy writing! x